Archive for the Emotions Category

Sometimes Alone in a Room

Posted in Emotions, Love & Pain on May 18, 2015 by Poetic Flow

Sometimes,
When I am alone in the room,
And the windows are closed,
I sit to myself in silence
Wondering what the world would
Be like without out.

Your words hurt,
Leavings wounds that never heal.
My mind stores everything you say,
Becoming constant reminders
Of the cruel side of who you are.

You make me want to hide
In the shadows,
Making me feel I am not
Worthy of this life.
And my body yearns
For love and affection
Which you take away
From me freely.

I walk out the door
Envisioning what it would be like
To never come back
Thinking that
Perhaps we are better off living
Worlds apart,
No longer able to take
The damage of your
Spiteful tongue.

Sometimes,
When I am alone in the room,
I tend to find peace within myself
When you are not there.
It soothes the fear that rises
Up within me…
A fear that you will cut me down
If I speak out of term.
If I make a mistake.

You do not accept my flaws
Or my imperfection.
This is what breaks my heart
Beyond anything else in life.

You expect me to provide you
Shelter and meals
To supply your comfort of living,
While I am hurting deep down inside.

Sometimes,
When I am alone in the room,
And you are not there,
I find myself praying for the day
For you to leave
And never come back.
I will cry for a moment,
But those tears will turn
To tears of relief
Because I will finally be free
Of this pain I carry.

For the book, “Imperfection: Of Life’s Devine
Written May 18, 2015
All Rights Reserved

My Freedom

Posted in Emotions, Love & Pain, Love & Relationships, Pain on May 18, 2015 by Poetic Flow

Tattooed to the skin of my body
Is the freedom of life.
I have walked one hundred miles
To escape the confusion
Of you
And your hurtful tongue
That cuts me down.

You do not control
The ground to which I walk,
The air to which I breathe.
You have no control over
The morning glory
That brightens my day
At the rising sun.

I am not held captive
To your amazing grace
Because I see right
Through your layers of insecurities.
No longer am I bound
By the pretentiousness
Of your idealistic world.

I spread my wings like
The butterfly I am,
Escaping on the winds of dawn
To find refuge in the comfort
Of my new home called life.

To your own deception and quiet calm,
I leave you to wallow in an
Unspoken guilt
To live without me to use
As your vessel and tool
Of mental anguish.

Goodnight sweet prince,
As our kingdoms part ways
Into the night where we once
Danced the minuet
Under the silver moon.

For the book “Imperfection: Of Life’s Devine”
Written May 18, 2015
All Rights Reserved

Untitled

Posted in Emotions on May 8, 2013 by Poetic Flow

Ask me how my day was.
Make me feel of importance to you.
Every day I take the long journey home
Feeling empty inside
As if there is nothing to come home to,
But the reality that you are there.
I try so hard to hide what I feel inside,
There are just things you do that makes me crazy.

I forget who you are sometimes.
That I start to wonder if
I exist in your world.
But I look to the newness of another day,
There is where I can find some relief
That I will be out in the streets
Accompanied by the kind words and attention
Of strangers.

You don’t seem to realize
The pain I feel deep down inside,
How I miss who we used to be.
You sit there lost in your own world
And don’t even notice me.
And yet you complain about the smallest things
I don’t do or have not done.
That is when you notice I’m alive,
That is when you know my name…
Only to point out my flaws and my mistakes.

Ask me how I feel when I’m sick,
Ask me if I’m ok if you see I am in pain.
Give me the benefit of the doubt
That you acknowledge I’m alive.

Do You Remember Us

Posted in Emotions, Love & Romance on February 4, 2013 by Poetic Flow

Blue wilted flowers in a half cracked vase.
Stale chocolate candies
In a torn and worn discolored box.
A card of love and fairy tales
Crumpled in an envelope,
Let me blow away the dust,
To relive the subtle reminders of memories
Of what days of being love once felt like.

Burned out scented candles,
Soft playing music on an old
Record player.
Dimmed lights in the middle of winter,
It was then you loved me.
We kissed our cares away,
Buried our pasts in the sensual love we made,
It was then you gave me something
To hold on to.
Do you remember love?
Do you remember us?

Yesterday we hung on to what
Life could bring us in a broken down world.
Today we barely say hello
Without the wonder if there’ll even be
A tomorrow to look forward to.
And yet I kiss you in the wake of the morning sun,
But run to the other side of dawn
To find the realism of my sanity
On the edge of a stolen happiness used to remind me of
What life should be like with you today.
Tell me,
Do you remember love?
Do you remember us?
When the smell of my sweet perfume
Kept you dialing my number whenever we were apart?
When the thought of my smile lit a path
To guide you back to me.
When we could dance in a field of lilies
And feel we could
Never grow old and weary,
With time always on our side?
It was then we knew what love was.
Young and strong.

I rather live in five minutes of
Yesteryear’s love that built the
Foundation we walked upon.
Than to live in tomorrow’s fading memories.
Way back when was when love meant something.
We weren’t just together to exist,
A simple matter of convenience.
Then was when love was real
And we cherished the wilted flowers
And stale chocolate candies.
Give me that love once more
Even if it’s just for five minutes.
And I’ll give you a lifetime of
My heart.

From the book, “Imperfections: Of Life’s Divine”

Good Morning Uncertainty

Posted in Emotions, Pain on January 8, 2013 by Poetic Flow

I heard it once said,
That in the wake of uncertainty,
It will find itself sitting at the edge of the bed staring back at me.
It’s arms will be folded,
It’s legs will be crossed,
And it will have a very distinct look on its face.
The look of uncertain moments to come.

I heard it once said,
That even though you are smiling,
Behind that smile is a broken person.
I am that broken person.
Awakened to the face of uncertainty,
Wondering when will the pieces be put back together again.

I have not my mothers arms to run to,
To hide from that which has burdened me for so long,
The burden of life’s responsibilities,
Which I have to conquer the fear that rides along its side.
Regardless of how I have stood
Facing adversity in the face,
I continue to be kicked when I am down,
And never uplifted by that little array of hope
That shines from the light at the other end of the tunnel.

Good morning, uncertainty,
I know you well from this day going forward,
To the days of long distance past.
I wake to your wonderment from dreams
That leave me quivering,
And yet you smile down on me
As if to set my world a blaze.

Do not be so happy to see my worries surface
To be written all my face,
Showing from beneath the words of feeling fine,
And a smile that is supposed to hide what’s deep inside.
Though I am riddled with fright of how today’s time will find itself,
Spare me the agony by leaving me in this room to hide from the sunshine.
Let me weather the storms from inside my own box,
Shielded from judging eyes and pointing fingers.

This day I cannot see my feet
One in front of the other.
Standing still with nowhere to go.
Uncertainty has me held hostage,
And all that I can do is cry inside
The falling rain.

Good morning, uncertainty,
Go and leave me in peace to face the memories
Past years have left me with.
When I find the door to the trueness of  freedom and happiness,
That will lead to the end to these burdens that shackle me,
I will walk through it to greet the better days
I was once promised long ago.

In the meantime,
This is where you will find me,
A shot of tequila,
Uncertainty,
And me.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013
From the book, “Imperfections:  Of Life’s Divine”

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